Coping With Death in the Workplace

By Mark Swartz

The death of a colleague hits hard. Shock and grief rise quickly. People are processing the news and reflecting on the deceased.

What if you were close to that colleague and need to mourn their loss? Meanwhile your own deadline pressures aren’t going away.

Taking time to grieve and honour the departed can help you deal with your feelings. But you’ll need to reach out on several fronts in order to maintain your productivity.

When You First Find Out

The initial moments after hearing of a colleague’s death are jolting. The news will unsettle you, maybe even leave you feeling stunned. It’s so hard to believe they’re gone. A flood of memories rushes in. There must be some mistake.

Is this an appropriate time to express your reaction to people around you? It can be cathartic to get your thoughts out in the open. Other employees are upset as well. The sharing that takes place is a way of acknowledging the extent of grief in the workplace.

Gather Yourself Before Next Steps

If needed, find a private space that allows you to pull yourself together. Figure out what you want to do next. Should you go back to work? Or instead take some time for processing.

If the latter, ask your boss for a time-out. A couple of hours or the rest of the day off should be acceptable. Either way stay connected to updates as more details trickle in. Will there be meetings or counselling set up? Are people informally gathering later in the day? What about funeral arrangements?

Normal Emotions After

A coworker's death can be difficult to cope with. Deep sadness, anger, guilt and loss of concentration can all be part of the mourning process.

You may also experience anxiety and regret if the death occurred in the workplace or your last interaction with the person was unpleasant. Survivor guilt is common too.

Such tragedies can make everyone around the deceased re-evaluate their lives and careers. This can be a good thing as it makes room for future possibilities.

Signs You’re Having Trouble Coping

People grieve in all sorts of ways. Loud crying jags for some. Silent sadness for others. Don’t judge yourself too harshly on how you go about mourning the loss.

Unless you’re overusing escape behaviours. Like excessive drinking or consumption of recreational substances. Withdrawing from loved ones or work can be a warning sign as well.

Reach out and speak to someone you trust. It might be a colleague or manager you're close to. It could be someone outside work – a family member, friend, spiritual advisor, physician or Employee Assistance Program (EAP).

Long-term deep sadness can disrupt eating and sleeping patterns, robbing you of energy to move on. Be watchful for indications of clinical depression if mood changes persist.

Memorialize The Loss

When it comes to honouring the departed, consider taking the lead. Get involved in setting up a memorial of some kind.

This could become an event. A lunch, dinner or drinks can be scheduled in advance. People could bring their favourite photos or stories relating to the deceased.

Other commemorations include a photo board or an article in the employee newsletter. There could also be a charity fundraiser in memory of the employee. More alternatives: taking up collections for surviving family members, or renaming a conference rooms after the deceased.

Begin To Move On

Dealing with death requires more time for some. Re-engage in your job as soon as you feel up to it. Manage your workload and offer to share knowledge of the departed colleague’s work if you know about it. You may find yourself being issued some of their remaining portfolio.

Social media can be a support during mourning. People will be posting comments on the deceased’s pages. Add your memories and kind wishes. It can be touching to see other employees pulling together.