Don't Have An Affair At Work
By Amanda Frank
Monster Contributing Writer
Thinking of having an affair at work?
Read the confessions of two female individuals who chose to have a steamy relationship that was tied to the job. Both stories lead us to draw a common conclusion that putting the fate of your career (among other things) in someone else’s hands is a losing gamble. Bad hand. Naughty hand. Fold now while you’re ahead. Don’t get hijacked by office romance.
Christine*, 29, Project Manager, “It started out as a normal business relationship. The company I worked for supplied his company with parts. Tom* was in from out of town to organize a press conference for a new product launch, that’s when he asked me out to dinner. He never hid the fact that he was married, he even spoke highly of his wife and family. It seemed innocent, but as we worked on that bottle wine, our conversation became more intense and intimate until we were making out at the restaurant like shameless teenagers. I wound up back at his hotel. He flew home the next day, but the affair carried on over email and the phone.”
“I must have lost my mind, because I was spending a lot of my working day writing to him using my work email. The rest of the day I was reading his responses and daydreaming about our next rendez-vous. I knew there was a copy of everything on the company’s servers, but I didn’t care. I felt totally reckless and in love. To say that my productivity went down is a huge understatement. It lasted for six months in total. He would fly in once a month on business and we would hook up.”
“It was never about him leaving his wife for me. I thought I was having fun. I really believed I could manage this relationship. Eventually I felt totally run down and depressed. I could barely get myself out of bed and into work in the mornings. That’s when I went on anti-depressants. We stopped seeing each other and his company switched suppliers. Luckily no one found out the real reason why we lost the customer. I would have been fired for sure. I have to say that whole experience took a chunk out of my life. I wouldn’t do it again. I don’t mix work and pleasure anymore.”
Tamara*, 26, Account Manager, “I don’t normally get involved with people at work because I figure it’s going to get complicated. I guess I deserved what I got for acting so naïve. There weren’t too many women when I worked at that company. Of course I was going to get some extra male attention.”
“There was this one colleague, Paul*. He was married but I had a thing for him anyway. He made it pretty clear that he was interested in me, and that he strayed from his marriage but kept it secret from his wife. I should have ran the other way at that point, but I guess I was looking for an outlet from the stress of my job. Also I stupidly thought I was making an ally at the company. Turns out as soon as he got what he wanted, he considered me something of a threat.”
“Paul gave my boss negative feedback about my performance, even though he was the one who was totally unfocused when it came to his work but putting up the appearance of going hard at. I guess he was worried I would get attached to him, get bitter and freak out badmouthing him to my boss or ratting on him to his wife. Of course, it was too late for that. It wasn’t long after we our brief hook up that my head rolled. My boss let me go. I couldn’t even defend myself. The only thing that sounded worse than the false accusation was the truth. I’ve never gotten involved with a co-worker since. That was a bad experience.”
*Identities have been changed to protect the innocent.