I Have a New Job And They Hate Me
By Mark Swartz
It doesn’t happen often. When it does it is disastrous: you start a new job and things sour quickly. Your boss avoids you. People who report to you snicker behind your back.
Hard as it is to admit, by now you’re disliked.
Is it you? Is it them?& Whatever the reason is you’d better find out fast. Then decide if you want to fix the problem or bail.
My Boss Disapproves Of Me
If the person you report to isn’t on your side, that’s big trouble. They’re the one who decides if you pass probation. Some common ways of getting off on the wrong foot:
When It’s Them
- They Made A Poor Hiring Decision
Despite the grueling hiring process, every so often the boss messes up. They may have misread your fit for the position. Or changed their mind about the job requirements somewhere along the way.
- The Boss Is Just Plain Terrible
Maybe it was you who missed the signals. Now you’re stuck coping with a bad boss. They hide in their office. Bark out unreasonable commands. Resent you because of your competence. Ouch.
When It’s You
- You’re Underperforming
Everyone talks a good game during interviews. Did you exaggerate your skills? Unless you deliver against expectations, the letdown will come swiftly.
- You’re Not Communicating Properly
When you start a new job, keeping the boss aware of your progress (and challenges) is imperative. Ask for regular meetings. Seek clarification or assistance early. Letting problems mount is perilous. So is not knowing how to make people like you.
The People I Manage Disrespect Me
If the people that report to you don’t trust or respect you, watch out. They might badmouth you to your boss and others. Here’s how it could happen:
When It’s Them
- They’re Resistant To Change
Employees who’ve worked together a while can become tightly knit and hostile to change. That’s a barrier you have to overcome. Show them the benefits of adapting to your goals and style. If that fails, it could come down to giving ultimatums.
- They Aren’t Up To The Task
When you step into a leadership role, the team you inherit has certain competencies. These might not align well with the new mandate you bring. Expect tensions to mount rapidly unless you or the company provides a bridge.
When It’s You
- Lack Of Managerial Training
Were you promoted into management without sufficient training? That’s common. Before you alienate your staff with your trial-and-error approach, get some leadership instruction and a mentor.
- Bossing People Around
New job, new staff. It’s a recipe for ruin if you charge in like a bull. Instead connect with people. Take time to get acquainted. Demonstrate some personal interest in their career success. Give them the tools and resources they need, don’t just order them about.
Fix It. Or Embrace It. Or Bolt.
Is it your colleagues or teammates that don’t get along with you? Check that you aren’t being the annoying one. If it is them, not you, the company culture might be responsible. Regardless of who’s at fault, there are three main options.
First is trying to repair the damage. In this case you’d identify the issues, determine root causes, and execute solutions. You may have to learn how to be likeable. That’s if you want to stay on and are willing to be flexible.
Second is to actually embracing that you’re disliked, and carry on. That’s if you want to stay but aren’t willing to flex. Some people take being loathed as a badge of honour. They see it as proof they’re getting things done their way.
The third option is to quit – before things get much worse. It’s possible to depart after less than a month or two, and simply leave the fiasco off your resume. That’s a risky tactic. However it may be better than telling potential employers you bolted…for being despised